Things people do not tell you about dating a mart-goer

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That’s Farming’s version of things people do not tell you about dating a mart-goer

Consider a trip to the mart a date;
Social events must not clash with mart sales;
If you want to go away for the weekend, it must be from Saturday evening (after the mart) onwards until Sunday evening (back in time for Monday morning’s sale);
Bank Holidays are for special weanling sales, not scenic road trips;
Sundays are for playing ‘catch up’ via LSL Premium and Mart Eye’s Clips;
If you plan to go to a Saturday wedding, prepare for ‘the afters’ only, as your other half has a mart sale to attend first;
Their mart attire must be in ‘ready to wear’ condition each morning;
If you want to go shopping, gear up for a day out at the mart;
If you want to go shopping and do not fancy going to the mart, pick a town that has a shopping centre and a mart;
Do not get offended if they are glued to their phone (MartEye or LSL Auctions) during dinner/lunch/tea;
They will spend their evenings talking to fellow mart-goers via phone about trade, their purchasers, various lots, ect;
They may rope you into hauling cattle to and from marts at dawn or dusk;
You must have your mart/dealer boots in the back of your vehicle at all times;
Prepare for mayhem at the back end of the year. They have some of the biggest cattle and sheep sales of the year to attend;
They attend marts from Monday to Saturday inclusive but will not deal on a Sunday.

Forget about an overseas holiday each summer; ag show season it is!
Familiar yourself with the ISA event guide – you are heading to at least one ag show every weekend (maybe even two);
You will have to spend all your time perfecting the animal’s appearance – not your own!
Your white ‘show coat’ is your desired attire of choice for the season;
Red must become your favourite colour – eyes on the 1^st-prize-winning rosettes;
You must become a ‘bovine hairdresser’ – Certificates required in: livestock blow-drying, clipping, washing and grooming;
It would be most useful if you completed your ‘BE’ test.